Day Care Disenrollment

So, my Pod got kicked out of day care yesterday. It was really out of the blue, but apparently the provider would be 'over capacity' with Pod.

This is why that's basically bullshit:

* The night before day care, she mentioned in a text that she had a new family coming to view the day care.

I go to pick up Pod and suddenly she has bad news and she can't take Pod anymore because she'd be 'over capacity'.

Nevermind the fact that she has two of the children she does because I'd recommended her to the mother. Pod *should* have tenure, or something, right? Shouldn't it be more 'last in first out'?

So, I'm thinking this is for either one of two reasons; that she wanted to offload Pod because she was a part-time kid vs full time, or that she didn't want to deal with a kid with special needs. Maybe it was a little of column A and a little of column B. People who have been reading this blog for a while know that this was a concern a few months ago when she seemed to realise that Pod was different.

I wasn't going to blog about my feelings on this, but I decided to go ahead anyway on the off chance that a day care provider might read this. If you're a day care provider and you're trying to get rid of a kid with issues, I want you to know the impact your decision will have on that kid and on that family. I want you to understand what you're taking away.

I want you to understand that you're taking away a chance for that child to socialise and learn from other kids, and that any leaps forward because of going to day care may be put back.

I want you to understand that you're throwing that child out to be rejected by other day cares, and that child might not be one that deals well with change. Yes, I know Dr Temple Grandin has written a book about pushing comfort zones, but let's face it, she doesn't mean getting bounced around day cares like I hear happens to many children. She doesn't mean a child constantly getting rejected for being different. Yes, there is the American Disabilities Act, and I've considered reporting my provider, but what of the other families that use the day care? Yes, there's a principle here, but I'm not sure I'm the kind of asshole that can endanger the livelihoods of other parents because of a principle.

I want you to understand that my child may have made friends, or at least now has people that she likes and is working on trying to play with.

Lastly, I want you to understand that what seems to be a simple decision for you, can and often does wreak havoc on a family. Sometimes that day at day care is even a kind of respite for a parent, it's the time that parent takes to regroup and put him or herself back together. That's what it was for me. You know what it's like to feel like you can't breathe? Yeah, that's how I'm feeling right now - along with anger and upset at the reminder of the challenges my child faces. I can't think about that second bit too much though, because that's the bit that hurts the most.

There are programs for supporting day cares in providing for children like mine. Free programs that work with providers to give tools. Here in Maryland, we have something called Project WIN.

That's how common this issue is, they actually have services available to try and stop kids like mine from being kicked out of day care.

If you're a day care provider and you're reading this, please, just know the gravity of your decision. Know the scope of what you do when you choose to disenroll a child like mine.